Thursday, January 18, 2007

Water tank!!

I had to go to an area called BTM water tank. One of a famous landmark in Bangalore.

There was no crowd in the bus this time. But the seats available were in the very end. I had to travel only for 3 stops and i decided to stand.

The conductor whistled and came to me.

Conductor(C): enga maa poganum?

me: water tank 1 ticket.

He took the change and gave me a ticket.

C: adhaan idam irukula. poi ukaarunga.

I looked at him and showed a face as if it was ok that i was standing. He continued to get money from the others who were seated. I was the only one standing in the bus.

He finished his collection and came back to me.

C: poi ukaarungama.. water tank'u.

He probably thought i did not know the language and was trying to tell me that it was a few stops away and that i could sit down till then. But incidentally he had just called me a "WATER TANK!!" I was happy my friends were not around. Else they would have used that for name to call me!! How embaraassing?

C: water tank'u. erangama..

!!!! -> this was the expression on my face. I got down and thanked the stars that i was alone that day!!

A victorious smile..

It was another rush day in the bus. I hate men falling onto the girls calling it the rush-hour.
The banglorean bus transport has this facility that girls get a seat in the front and the men are supposed to sit only in the back. I was sitting in the 4th and the last row of women's seat and a guy, almost my age sat right next to me.

The bus was overly crowded and the girls who were standing in front could probably not see that a guy was sitting beside me. Or they were tolerant/generous enough to let a mannerless guy to sit in the women's seat.

I got a call from a friend and i spoke in my mother-tongue, Tamil. The conversation was a very short one.

And then surprisingly this chap sitting next to me started a conversation. For the first time, i liked having a conversation with a stranger!!

the guy (G): Are you a tamilian?

me: (now you want to talk to me?) yes. (so saying, i turned my head. to make him understand that i was not interested in talking to him)

G: your working for CTS is it?

I gave him a quizzical look. Then he showed me my tag. I smiled and turned my head away again.

G: even i work for CTS. (and a huge smile from him as if it was an accomplishment to be working for the company or working in the same company as me - am not sure)

He kept nudging and sitting closer. The crowd was getting to be unbearable. Not much of air to breathe either. I opened the window a little bit more.

G: unga sondha oor edhu?

me: thanjavur.

G: apadiya? naan thiruchi dhaan. enga padicheenga?

me: shunmugha.

At this he moved a little bit away from me. I was surprised at his reaction.

G: which year passout??

me: 2005 batch.

He moved a little further away from me.

G: do you know priya?

me: from which dept?

G: Cse.

me: (with a smile on my face) We are a gang of 10. She is one of my good friends.

G: Oh.

(Now he turned his face away from me)

me: Are you Priya's cousin brother?

G: Yes. I will ask Priya about you.

me: Sure. (the smile was still persistent on my face this time) You are Bharath right?

G: Yes. How do you know? ( He was totally shocked when i said his name out aloud. He had withdrawn from me slowly because i knew his sister!!! Only now i understood his reaction :D I felt it to be funny.)

me: You are from Bombay right. You joined CTS a year back. You work for the CSSBU under Mr.Mehtha?

G: (an unbelievable look on his face now) You seem to be knowing my entire history!!

me: Well, Priya is that close to me.

G: I will tell Priya about you surely.

me: Tell her it was vg. She ll know me better by that name.

I smiled. A victorious smile. I had made him feel sorry for his constant nudging - one of a usual mannerless act by the men. I guess that will be the last time he ever did that to any girl.
This was even more funny to me. He invited a girl to sit in his seat!! What a loser?

Fw: Ant and Grasshopper..



Somehow i liked this a lot. it was WELL SAID!!!

OLD VERSION... The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).
Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers. Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Institutions & in Govt Services. The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.
CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in silicon valley.100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India...

Thursday, January 04, 2007

An easy 10 minute interview!! Phew!!

I had a real tiring day at office. I had just begun to work on Linux for the past 3 days. Everything was totally new to me. And i was expected to start execution from Day 4. Well, what can i say. That is IT industry to you. You just barely fight, struggle and manage to survive.

I left office at 7.30 pm. I was showing my handbag for security check, when the call came!!

"Hello is this Archana", said the voice. The voice sounded so unsure and new to me.

Intrigued by who this new acquaintence could be, i answered "Yes. May i know who this is?"

"This is Harish here. I am a HR in X. You are working for Y technologies right? Will you be interested in working for us?" asked the voice.

I thought, 'that was quick!'. I had sent my resume to one of my friends in company X. I did not expect to get a call so soon.

I had committed to my manager in Y technologies that i would work at least for 6 months. In fact, i wanted to shift only after 2 years of experience and i had 6 months more. Shall i refuse the offer and hang up? What the hell, after all an interview. Let me give it a shot. What can happen at the most. If it was a good offer, why should i lose it?

I started walking away from the office, towards the main road, concentrating on the phone conversation.

"Yes, Harish. I am interested. But how did you get my number?" i asked cautiously.

"It must have been referred by someone here" he said.
Fair enough, i thought.

"May i know what kind of job profile i can expect" i asked.

"It will be on Unix internals and some Shell scripting" he answered.

Screwed man. I was just beginning to learn Unix for the past 3 days. and he wants me to work on Unix Internals and Shell scripting? That is sad.

"Unix internals yes. I am pretty good at it (Archana what are you saying. you have just learnt what 'ls' command is, i thought on the inside). But i have not worked on scripting. Not yet."

A car just crossed by. I had to cross the road. Wrong timing to be having this conversation.

"you have never worked on scripting is it? good at unix internals hmm? can you tell me what an inode is?" he asked.

Damn. Dont start the interview now. i could read Unix tonight and answer the questions fresh tomorrow. Of course inode is an easy question. why is he asking me such a stupid question? May be he is starting from the fundamentals. What if he starts questioning too technically. I need time to think and answer. Else i will make a fool out of myself. At least not while am crossing the road.

"Harish. May be i can call you up tomorrow sometime say 11? May be we could have the interview then. Because, right now, am on the road. And this is not the right time for me. Could you give me your mobile number? You could give me a missed call? So i can call you back?" I asked.

"I cant give you a missed call now. Please note it down." he said.

why the hell cant he give a missed call. this mobile is pretty difficult to operate when am talking. Ok. As you play it Mr.

"Ok. I will note it down. Just a second." Did i have a choice, i thought.

Clear button, options, phone book, add contact. vats his name? vat ever. i typed A for his name.

"Yes tell me the number?"

"9886078899"

"I repeat. 9886078899? ok i will give you a call tomorrow" i wanted to just hang up. But the caller continued.

"Are you a very talkative person archana?" he asked.

what is your problem in life if i am talkative or not? ok may be he is trying to judge me? he said he was a HR right?

"Yup. you can call me that."

"Why are you so talkative" he asked.

what a dumb question? what do you expect me to answer fella? i love to talk because i am good at it. and you are not so good to keep the converstaion going. So, i talk and you listen. You have a problem with that?

"sorry?" i could say only so much. to re-confirm or make him at least rephrase his question.

"where do you live?" he asked.

Is this a crank call. Is he fooling me? why would he want to know where i live? ok, as if he could find out my address and create problems. even if he does, i can manage. No issues.

"hmm. BTM" i said cautiously.

"our office is in CV Raman nagar. will you be ok working this far?" he asked.

OK so thats why you wanted to know. Of course it would be far for me. are you going to construct a new office for me near my home. looser?

"Thats totally fine with me. No problem" i said.

"Are you very good in maths archana?" he asked.

Is he determined to be asking all ridiculous questions. why would he need me to know maths now. of course i am good at it. probably the project has got something to do with math?? how can math and unix go together. you never know.

"Oh i am very good at maths. Its my favourite." i said. and It was true :)

"are you good in geography?" he asked.

that is a tricky one. and is it a coincidence or what? only day before yesterday, i had arguements with my friends about Tropic of cancer and capricorn, the euqator, the position of india, which hemisphere it was in etc. guess what, my brilliant friends kept saying that India was in the southern hemisphere. They were playing a prank on me. And i kept arguing with them. It is surprising that even this chap has to be asking about geography. is it a coincidence?

"hmm. Am just ok with it." i answered. I did not want to be promising and get caught.

"Where is India? Is it in the northern or southern hemisphere?" he asked me with a chuckle in his voice. This question rang a bell.

"Santhosh. Is that you?" i asked.

Laughter on the other side of the phone.

S***. My friend had made a fool of me. I was standing on the road. In the traffic. Answering his dumb questions. That is why he would not give me a missed call, because i will know its him. His name will get displayed on my mobile! How thoughtful! That is why he asked me about inode, because he himself does not know much. And why would a HR guy be asking technical questions anyways. I should have thought about it. damn. i thought he was a fool. But actually I had volunteered to become his Bhakra that day. I should have thought it was wierd to be getting a call at this hour. Screw him. Gosh, if he tells everyone about it, they will tease me.

"santosh idiot. how dare you play a prank on me" i asked a bit angry this time. But could not avoid the hearty laugh at being fooled.

"What can i say. you would not let me finish the conversation at all." he answered, still laughing at his victory.

It was the most embarassing interview i ever had. But i cant blame him!! it was worth the fun. Good one santosh!!
But trust me, you will pay for this some day.

The next day i got a group mail from Santosh.
It read as follows:
"Hey guys, have you heard. archana just got an offer from X technologies. Ask her how much is the pay"

Damn him. I will pay you back for this Santhosh!! truely!!